December 29, 2020

I watched birds for a while this morning. There was a thin film of ice on the marina’s stilled, environmentally protected water and several gulls huddled out of a light wind there. They weren’t sitting on the dock, warming themselves in the bright sun? What odd creatures they are. Skinny legs, puffed breasts, tucked in wings, my thought is that the poor things aren’t well escaping the cold. Why do they hang out, sitting on the ice? Is it a form of protest? Do they intend to sit there in silence until all birds are free? Are they protesting Thanksgiving in support of their turkey friends? Have they got a good game of telepathic bingo going on? (It must be telepathic, I heard nothing.) I wonder that because, on occasion a gull will fly up jubilant and circle the group. “BINGO!” Maybe that isn’t why. It could be not. The upward jump may have a more practical purpose. If my bum were parked on the ice, I wouldn’t last long before I took to the air and warmed myself with some good ‘ol wing flapping.

The feathered ones weren’t social distancing, as they were a day before. That day, they were lined up in a single file across the floating dock, about three feet apart. For birds, a little less space is required than for us larger creatures. Their wheezing, half-teabag sized lungs only spread droplets a few inches. They can cough at will without raising a wing to cover it and I haven’t seen that they can touch their faces, so must not need to be concerned about repeatedly washing bony feet. As proof of that supposition, I saw no bony feet sanitizers, no signs in bird-speak-squawk warning of the possibility of an uncaptured cough spreading disease. I saw no signs threatening legal repercussions or barring entry to the unmasked, either. I noticed not whether one bird arrived after another left, keeping the number of parked birds at an ideal. I guess Leamington Marina dock is the Walmart or big-box store for birds? The remaining unfrozen seaweed and tiny fish mean that the Marina is an essential service sort of thing.

These gathered birds were paused in a good sized group but they WERE outdoors, on the dock. It had to be uncomfortable a little, I saw no portable heaters, gas or electric. There were no plastic igloos. I didn’t witness it but I have to assume there was drinking going on since there was a bit of open water and that’s how birds are. They are indiscriminate about drinking, being the sort of beasts/creatures who follow the moment, who seek liquid pleasure where it can be found. They probably consume marijuana gummies as well but I haven’t seen that, either. Today, I imagined I could even hear a bit of rock music, the sexy kind, going on. Yes, I am sure of it…the open water of the lake splashed up on the tumbled stone jetty rhythmically.

I thought about what the birds would do if the police arrived to break up the party. Being able to take to air and rise up out of the reach of uniformed predators would be magnificent. My fine friends might be capable of such a facile escape. It isn’t often that you see a viral video on Facebook of birds being whacked on the head with a wooden baton or tasered, no gif’s of them being shoved rudely into a paddy wagon. It does happen, I am certain of that, since that is what happens to us if we don’t toe the line. In the case of assembled birds misbehaving, the police reaction doesn’t seem to be ‘news’. I did a Google search for birds having to defend themselves and found nothing beyond a few comedy film clips. There was nothing about marching birds carrying signs. Perhaps the Conservatives have squelched this information. I don’t trust them at all. There is a blue wave of misinformation and confusion traveling the world. It is the true ‘deep state’ at work and what happens to our bird friends just one further element of their evil plan. Today, as I watched my shivering friends gather illicitly, I wanted to shout “FREE DONALD!” (Duck, I mean..not the other one.)