February 26, 2021
Some remarks made about Canada are wishful thinking in part but also a bit more than half true. Folks are more polite here, they do say “excuse me” and “oh, I am sorry” an awful lot more than other places I have been. Why this should be happening in a country that shares a lengthy, mostly unguarded border with evil (?) is a mystery. The grinning devil is ‘just over there’, complete with red tail and painted face. My brother will be angry for my calling a pitchfork a pitchfork but I lived in the U.S. a long time. I know those people. They are complex. Some remarks made about them are also, a bit more than half true. On the one hand, they can be arrogant, rude, demanding, surly — on the other, generous, loyal, open, friendly…it’s confusing. It is almost as though they can’t make up their minds about anything except apple pie and baseball.
All places, groups, societies on the planet have their specialness, identity, community. Some have a lot, some have a little. Here, where the border is long and ninety percent of Candians live within one hundred miles of it, the blend of cultures is a real thing. It is a sort of sfumato. As you get close to the border, there is less distinction in accent, ways of doing things. The further from the border, the more unique things become on both sides. Of western cultures, generally, I think you could say that the further from the melting pots or cities or mixing places, the more unique the folk. Folks are more relaxed, kinder? maybe. In Canadian’s case, the U.S. is like ‘big city’ and we the toothless ‘poutine with a daub of maple syrup’ fanciers are more relaxed, more gently human. We are in the countryside, after a fashion. We are different.
There are other unique things burrowed into the Canadian social ouevre. ‘Grabbing a ‘Timmy’s’ is one, passing it down is another. The passing it down is a new-ish paying it forward effort, though in the case I am talking about it is more a paying it backward thing. Folks pay for the next person’s coffee and donut order from time to time. This is actually a rising trend. It gets mentioned in the news. Today, I was gifted of a free coffee and bagel. I was surprised at the announcement from the grinning server and decided I would do likewise, passing the free coffee back to the next car-load of hockey fans. The server and I chatted idly, speculating on how long the backwardness would continue. She noted that it had been as long as fifteen or twenty cars in her experience. We shared a cheerful adieu and I eased my vehicle away from the window toward the outbound intersection. As I waited for the stoplight to turn green, my paying it backward recipients nudged up next to me and flashed hairy, winter-hardened smiles and thumbs went up all around. Off we went to our various days.
From Tim’s, I headed to the marina to watch nothing happen on the frozen lake. This is my ‘consideration’ hour, sitting with bagel and coffee and cogitating. I reflected on the backward paying incident and I counted the folks who each had a pleasant moment from one person’s effort. The server had a break, a moment’s pleasant distraction, I did, the car ahead who payed it back to me did, the two fellows in the car behind who received my donation did. So. Five or six people were lifted a moment from the grouchy fog of the mundane because of one person’s sparky, grinning impulse. It was brief but memorable. A little something nice to remember, to discuss over a coffee during a Facetime confab or Zoom meeting. That little crack of daylight spread faster than Covid ever could.
My leaning-toward-gruff mind was changed this morning by a free coffee. I saw, in that moment, how to carry forward toward all of the other moments. Vigor, brightness, life is brief and so bloody simple, maybe that’s why it is hard to understand. One, little, “Hola!” costs nothing, requires zero effort, cascades lightly. The same is true for a growl but the growl doesn’t feel as nice. It is a personal decision, easy and quick to make, a change for the better. There is always a choice which ripples to spread outward. Smile. Hold the door for an overburdened soul. Let the fool who is cutting you off go. Fahgedaboudit. It is not worth stewing about. Offer a toonie and respectful nod toward Aqualung from time to time, instead of crossing to the other side of the street and frowning. There you have it.
Robert On The Air 