GRRRRR

May 17, 2021

I am not alone angry. It sure looks as though everyone has a degree or so of anger, waiting at the ready. In my particular case, since I have unrealistically high standards, anger wants to spill right over. It’s boiling, fed by the flames of politics and bad behaviour. I am disgusted. I am more than disgusted. I am so thoroughly disgusted that I am disgusted with myself: for slipping up, for bad habits, for lounging around sighing, for not doing the things I know bring me pleasure, for not feeling joy in living. I can’t go out and sing, can’t go to a restaurant and eat too much, can’t hang with my buddies, can’t have folks over to dinner, can’t travel to a distant hotel, can’t, can’t, can’t. I am feeling it.

I struggle to stay in my lane, folks. At the present, it is sometimes nearly more than I can do to remain civil in a public setting when a fellow idiot lets go of their tenuous hold on reality. I try to wait my turn at the traffic circle, a fool cuts me off and speeds into the distance, grinning like The Joker gone from his medications. They let go their better sense and go for it. It. Whatever ‘it’ may be. I very dearly wish to let go as well.

At the marina today (where I have to go since I can’t go to Starbucks) a group of ‘older gentlemen’ parked their damned lawn chairs on the sidewalk, instead of the grass. Now, I (or anyone) need(s) to walk around them. It’s rude and they just don’t see it. The odd thing is that they probably see me malfunctioning as well. I could see that snort of disapproval on their faces. Are we all seeing only rudeness, disobedience from others? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. We have skewed glasses on. Skewed and distorted lenses of television, radio, internet talk at us and fill us with dread. We have a shit-coloured view. Politicos, talking heads, the constant rape, murder and mayhem that masquerades as art — all conspire. They are like decibels. When one person sings, then another chimes in. For each additional person chiming in, there is approximately a 3 decibel rise in overall level. Each 10 decibel rise is a doubling of perceived volume. …so, 4 people screaming about something is about twice as loud as one person screaming.

The pandemic is testing us. Yeah, we’ll make it through. We will make it to the other side because there are still enough reasonable people. There are still enough people who grit their teeth and wait patiently. There are still enough people who don’t flare or flame out and succumb to the base nature of a human being, the need to kill what offends. “If thine neighbour offend thee — pluck him out!” Our numbers dwindle. Fewer and fewer of us are going to take this sXXt lying down! Nossir!