Oh, my dear hearts and friends… I have been away from blogging a few days again. I haven’t felt cheerful enough to wander over the keyboard with my fat fingers. I haven’t felt like whining aloud. I haven’t felt like anything. I have numbed but uncomfortably. This being true, it is also true that the state I am in is not a total dead zone. There are some completed poems and a chapter plus in the editing process for my novel/short story collection. It will take a long while but I am working on those things, in the very least. No cheer, here, though. The days have been bleak.
Some of my friends are struggling and there is little I can do. The twists and turns on what is known as the road of life are so frustratingly unpredictable. I mean, really, God. I am struggling, too…as are we all even though good fortune does still smile at the odd time. For example: Myself and some 7 billion other humans survived the night, whichever 12 hour span we are in. That is good. I woke, stumbling about, groggy but with all limbs attached and in operational order. That is good. I had something to eat (for which I am grateful, it is not taken for granted). That is good. I had a long chat with a close friend. That is good. Yesterday, I was able to help someone and offer companionship. That is good. All of those things are good…but…there is more yet. I found a reason to cheer again. Do you want to know what it is that makes me feel better? There is a new barista at Starbucks and boy, whew, he is a hottie!
So my cheer level has been down a bit. With politics and the earth ablaze there is also my advancing age, my decline. These facts alone mean not much can be done about the lack of cheer. I am not unique. I feel the down-cheer with a whole crowd of folks. I’ve got lots of company, here in the chorus. But. The new Mr. Dark Eyes at Starbucks will help with that situation. I can tell you that, truthfully. A glance in his direction reminds me that there are moments when I am so happy to be a homosexual, sigh. I can see the beauty another might not notice. It’s funny. Checking this fellow out makes me think of how the church seems fixed on the idea of ‘gay’ being a choice. Well, in this one case, I CAN understand how a person could choose to be gay. Haha. There isn’t a soul among humans who would not wonder what a night of romance would be like with this guy…even his dog probably thinks about it.
So.
God (I am assuming God, with personal opinion difference and caveats it seems the most reasonable explanation. I plan to get into this in a book that is underway) has gifted the beast and the blossom with ability to adapt. We can change. We can lift our heads, when the sword comes down and notice a cute little sweetie in the crowd. Bliss. We can step back from the accident scene, review the time-line, notice our fellow passengers are alert and without more than a scratch or two, count our limbs, feel for any loose blood, find nothing broken and laugh about how the car we were riding in flew up into the air. “Oh, my gosh!” Then, we can go to Starbucks for a coffee and chill. We can surreptitiously observe Mr. Dark Eyes. We can do that anytime we need cheering. We can do that if we are old. I am doing that at this moment. Tres delicaux!
Robert On The Air 