Sunday
October 31, 2021
The Mayor is dead, long live the Mayor? Yeah. Now, I am filled with guilt that the two of us didn’t get off on a better foot. I was a bad neighbour. There you have it. I was mostly okay. I cut the grass, I didn’t have loud parties that stretched into the late evening, I didn’t park in her space, that sort of thing but I did make noise on purpose one night. No excuse. It was my fault that time. It was the only time that I know of where I interfered with the quiet of the evenings here but I did do that one night on purpose.
The bad blood started right away after I moved in. She creeped me out by looking me up on Facebook, then sending me a message of complaint about how loud my TV was. That was the first full night I spent at the townhouse and it was about 8 pm. I was upset but I did send her a message back of apology and promised that I had considered the noise I might be making. Further, I told her I was planning some renovation to the basement that would take sound transmission into account. We closed our conversation but I blocked her because I did not like the idea of being ‘creeped’ on Facebook. So, that was the frosty beginning.
A few days or maybe a couple of weeks after our first conversation via Messenger, I was playing music with all of the equipment downstairs. It WAS loud but I honestly hoped it wouldn’t travel that well because of the brick wall. I was drinking and playing records at high volume. I started playing music about 5 or 6, I am not sure. Within an hour, I got some loud thumping on the basement wall. I knew it was her, she is the only one who could possibly have heard me. I don’t think I turned it down at all and I did get a little angry about her thumping. At around 8 or so, I shut everything off and went by foot to the beer store for more supplies. It was one of those nights of over the edge drinking that happen from time to time. It is a thing I do that I am not in any way proud of or happy about or trying to excuse. It just happens. I try not to drink but it just happens. When I got home at close to 9, I turned it back on. I don’t now remember whether she thumped again or not but I was angry and determined to go ahead and play music. At 10 or maybe 10:30, I shut it off and went to bed. I was tired and very nearly that crazy drunk where you just don’t think anymore. A sad end to the evening.
In the morning, I was on my way out and discovered a hastily hand written note from her in my mail box. It was a lengthy and very angry note where she expressed her disappoinment in my behaviour. She was so angry that she got a little off base and went on a bit about having been living there for twenty years and that the noise is not something that was ever or would be acceptable. She explained that her bedroom is right next to my living room and that she had to be in bed at 8:30 in order to get u for work in the morning. She was upset that I had blocked her from messaging me and read me the act about what I had done the previous evening, that she had valiantly attempted to stop me by banging on the basement wall…etc. That was the end of our relationship. I tried to write her an angry letter back but I threw it away instead.
Well, then. Later, I noticed her giving instructions to the parcel delivery man about where, when and how to deliver packages to her neighbour to the east. That was the day I decided she should be called The Mayor of Otton Lane. So, Mayor she was and we grunted at each other in passing from that time forward. I did change my music habits and shut it off early, turned it down, moved it to a further room…that sort of thing. I had no more complaints but I am not sure she was totally satisfied, maybe she just gave up complaining.
We lived together, neighbours with an unsolved border war, in detente. I came and went, she came and went. I did notice that she made no effort to maintain the area between our townhomes, half of which was her property. I just accepted the role of staff and that was it. About two years ago, I noticed that the Mayor was incommunicado for a period of about two months. When she returned, her hair started disappearing and that told me she was suffering from cancer and it’s treatment. She was in and out after that with several periods of more than a few weeks at a time where she was missing. She was not working any longer so I figured she must be on a medical leave. Then, about 8 weeks or so ago, I stopped seeing her move about. There were caregivers in and out, I assumed she was declining. Now, the last four days or so have seen a lot of activity at her place. People I have not seen before in and out and packing up things.
Yup. A check of obits revealed the Mayor’s death on the 28th. Oooops. Now, I have the guilt of yet another person who died without any form of resolution to my being a bitchy sort of person. She behaved badly, I behaved worse…. This is not the first time. I have been bad to people over the many years. I was adamantly cruel to a friend who may have been inconsiderate of the changes I was making but did not deserve the cruelty I offered to him. I was bad to my ex-wife during the time I was discovering my sexuality. I never felt love for my Husband, not really, not in the thirty years we spent together. I separated my emotions and my physical love from him. I could have been better but I knew we needed counseling. He was not willing to do that. As to my ex-wife, I was more than cavalier and did not fully understand the effect my sexuality changes were having on her. These are things I cannot forgive myself for.
Finally, I was mean to my mom (so much so that my brother asked me to stop) and was even callous to Ed’s Mom once. I can be a cruel bitch. I am capable. Perhaps the worst of it is that I am intelligent and clever enough to be a real pain in the ass. I can hurt a person. I have hurt people, badly. At least three people I have hurt emotionally have died. The Mayor being one. Boys and girls, Uncle can be a real shit at times. Sorry. Now, I have this additional sign from God (the death of the Mayor) to deal with. Will I learn the lesson and thus climb to the next level in this Super Mario Game of living? Tune in next week.
Robert On The Air 